Editor’s Note: The following outline/idea comes courtesy of @FakeJoeDooley on Twitter. Give him a follow if you don’t already. We at CardsandCats.com endorse these rules wholeheartedly and look forward to partaking in such festivities over some Falls City and Blue Moon just added to the fridge. Cheers!
I. THE “PLAYER DRAFT”
Before the game begins, you must conduct a player “draft.” You’re responsible for draft order. Drafters choose from one of the six main guys on the team: Marquis Teague, Doron Lamb, Darius Miller, Terrence Jones, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, Anthony Davis. If you have more than six playing the game, you choose a starter that has already been chosen (two people may have the same starter). Don’t worry about the reserve players. They’ll come into play later on.
II. YOUR INDIVIDUAL DRAFTED PLAYER RULES: (Refer to the draft)
All of Section II is specific to your drafted starting player.
- Drink one (1) for every point your drafted player scores (E.g., You drafted Teague and he makes a layup – drink two; or, you drafted Lamb and he makes a 3-pointer – drink three). Always remember that these drinks are not meant to be a burden. It’s a celebration. We just freaking scored.
Each starter has a SUPERPOWER. This superpower is specific to only that player. When your drafted player uses his superpower in the course of the game, you give drinks out instead of take them. The individual superpowers are as follows:
- Marquis Teague: Every time Teague makes a crazy pass (good or bad), you give out two (2) drinks to anyone in the room. Also feel free to throw something at them.
- Darius Miller: Every time Miller pretends he’s a point guard (e.g., shoots a 3-pointer, dribbles ball up the court, etc.), give out two (2) drinks to anyone in the room. Also, if he happens to make the 3-pointer, give out five (5) drinks. Remember to use “3 Goggles” when giving out the drinks.
- Michael Kidd-Gilchrist: Every time MKG makes a “hustle play” (e.g., takes a charge, attempts a charge, flops, drops, dives, or scrambles), give out three (3) drinks to anyone in the room. Feel free to slap the floor with two hands before delivering.
- Anthony Davis: Every time Davis blocks a shot, give out three (3) drinks. Feel free to rub it in by giving the recipient the Dikembe Mutombo finger wag while saying, “Brow Down”.
- Doron Lamb: Every time Doron attempts a 3-pointer, give out two (2) drinks. If he makes the 3-pointer, give out five (5) drinks, make sure to make good use of the “3 Goggles” while giving out your drinks.
- Terrence Jones: Every time Terrence drunks the ball, give out (4) drinks while giving each person you give the drinks to a Double Flex Stare Down.
Special Individual Player Rules: (Rare individual player rules)
These are rare instances that your drafted player may play a part in during the course of a game. Watch for these both for your player and other players in the room.
- Technical Foul: Drink 10 if your drafted player gets a technical foul. Also punch your neighbor and give him or her 10 as well (don’t need to inflict real pain, but it’s your world). You may spread these 10 around the room if you’d prefer.
- Posterized: If your drafted player posterizes another team’s player, give out 5 drinks to the room. If you get up and re-enact the play, give out 15.
- Career High: If your drafted player achieves a career high in points, you can give out drinks to the room up to that total (e.g., if Jones bests his career high by scoring 36 points, you can give out 36 drinks, no credit for ties).
III. UNIVERSAL TEAM RULES: (Everyone in the room takes part in these)
Everyone in the room will take part in the following rules. These are meant to be community rules and are separate from the individual drafted player rules.
- Every time a Kentucky three-point basket is made, everyone has to throw up the “3 Goggles”. The LAST player to do it has to drink 5.
Block/Charge (Blarge) Rule:
- If they televise a slow motion Blarge call, you have the option of doing a 10-second waterfall or getting up and reenacting the call with your neighbor. If you choose the latter, have no regard for the coffee table, drink, or your neighbors that live below you.
Ashley Judd Rule:
- If Ashley Judd is pictured on your television screen at any time take two (2) drinks.
Pizza Commercial Rule:
- If your television shows a pizza commercial, take one (1) drink and order another pizza. No pizza days off.
IV. RESERVE RULES: (THE Twany, Malone, Long, and Polson RULES)
- If any of the above enter the game in the first half of play, everyone drink ten (10) for each. If they enter the game in the second half, everyone drink five (5).
- If any of these four players score at any point in the game, everyone drink the amount equal to the points scored (E.g., Niko hits a 3-pointer, everyone drink 3).
- If any of these players miss a dunk, finish your drink.
V. TWITTER SHARING